Making dua for non-Muslim loved ones who have passed away

If you are reading this because someone you love has died, we are so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent, a grandparent, or a dear friend is painful, and it can hurt in a special way when they were not Muslim. This lesson gently explains what Islam teaches about dua (personal prayer to Allah) for them, and the many ways of love that remain open to you.

Even the Prophet wept

Your grief is not a weakness in your faith. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, lost his mother, Aminah, when he was a young child. Later in his life he visited her grave. Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet wept there, and those around him wept too. Then he said:

I sought permission from my Lord to beg forgiveness for her but it was not granted to me, and I sought permission to visit her grave and it was granted to me so visit the graves, for that makes you mindful of death

Sahih Muslim 976

What the Quran says

Allah says:

It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire.

Quran 9:113 (translation of the meaning)

Scholars explain that this verse is about people who died without believing in Allah alone. Based on this verse and the hadith above, scholars agree, and several describe it as a consensus, that a Muslim does not ask Allah's forgiveness or mercy for a relative who died as a non-Muslim. This can be hard to read. Remember that the Prophet himself felt this pain for his own mother, and he accepted Allah's decision.

Leave the final judgment to Allah

This ruling is about what we ask for in our prayers. It is not your job to decide anyone's final place. We act on what we can see, and only Allah knows what passed between a person and Him in their last moments. He is perfectly just:

And your Lord does injustice to no one.

Quran 18:49 (end of the verse, translation of the meaning)

The love that remains open to you

• Grieve and remember. Crying is natural and allowed. You may visit their grave to remember them and reflect on life, as the Prophet visited his mother's grave.

• Keep the family ties. Stay close to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings, whether they are Muslim or not. The Prophet told Asma bint Abi Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, to keep good ties with her mother, who was not Muslim.

• Honor the people they loved. The Prophet taught that one of the finest forms of goodness to a parent is keeping ties with the people that parent loved. Being kind to your parent's friends is a beautiful way to honor their memory.

• Pray for the living. You may ask Allah to guide your living relatives, and many scholars also allow asking Him to grant them health and wellbeing.

A story of hope for the living

Abu Hurayrah used to invite his mother to Islam, and one day she said something hurtful about the Prophet. He came to the Prophet in tears and asked him to pray for her. The Prophet said:

When Abu Hurayrah reached home, his mother asked him to wait, then opened the door and declared the shahada. He went back to the Prophet weeping with joy (Sahih Muslim 2491). You can make this kind of dua for your mother, your father, or anyone you love, in your own words and in any language. And remember that guidance is in Allah's hands, not yours:

Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.

Quran 28:56 (translation of the meaning)

Your part is to love them, pray for them, and show them good character. The rest belongs to Allah.

This completes the step. In the next step, you will learn how to share your faith through good character.